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November 26, 2005

Cabin 12 Journal

11/25/05
The dogs have never seen a llama before. Now, when they go back home, the can tell their grandma, "I got to see a llama." Then they'll say, "grandma, what happend to that turkey?"
Grandma will reply, "That wasn't a turkey, it was a pelican. And he went to Monte Carlo for the weekend."
Then they'll ask, "Are llamas allowed in Monte Carlo?" But grandma won't know.

Love,
That One Family in Cabin 12

PS The spoons are great

* * *

For thanksgiving this year, my wife rented a little cabin at a dude ranch near Glendwood Springs which was quite nice. This is good since the baby got sick as soon as we got there and we spent the whole trip in the cabin. But that's another story. The blurb above is what I left in the cabin journal.

Avalanche Ranch is for sale, in case anyone's interested. It can be yours for four easy payments of $999,999.99. But wait, that's not all!

Posted by james at 05:58 PM | Comments (0)

November 22, 2005

Fear

Some people claim the scariest moment of life is the instant when one realizes his parents' mortality. My parents' mortality was obvious with the nightly worship at the porcelain altar.

My scariest moment was the realization that, both culturally and genetically, I'm 1/2 mom and 1/2 dad.

What was yours?



Posted by james at 09:45 PM | Comments (2)

Quitters Never Cheat and Cheaters Never Quit (Or Something Like That)

Today I signed up for two classes in the upcoming semester. My schedule has me classified as follows:

College: Graduate School
Degree: Master of Science
Major: Applied Mathematics

What classes, then, did this graduate applied mathematician sign up for? Complex Analysis? Partial Differential Equations? Non-Riemannian Hyperspheres? NO! Technical Communication: Editing and Visual Principles in Technical Communication.

Is this the schedule of a mathematician? No. Is this what I want to study? Yes. Why? I'm a piss-poor mathematician.


It's been difficult to admit openly, though the idea must have been festering for a while.

I looked into my initial screening tests at work. In all of the important, technical areas I literally scored the bare minimum--on the nose. By boss told me, though, that I got the highest score of anyone in spelling. This was disconcerting, but I got over it.

All of my coworkers, without exception, loathe writing. I (obviously) don't. I've decided my role in the workplace should exploit my joy in writing instead of my mediocre technical skills.

I can't help feeling, though, that I'm selling out for something "easy." The Communication Department, after all, isn't known for being a repository of world-changing knowledge. I'm pretty sure no technical writers were on staff at Los Alamos or present at the signing of the Magna Carta--but neither was the Buddha.

Have I sold out?

Posted by james at 09:11 PM | Comments (2)

November 13, 2005

The Unsung American God

The American Gods are powered by worship—by sacrifice—by energy—by attention. They are Cancer, Media, Technology, and the Freedomoftheroad.

But I am the greatest of them all

You know me, but not my name. Though I live on Mr. Gaiman’s desk, it was a man named Robert who wrote most eloquently of me—or, at least, of my complement.

Who am I?

Posted by james at 11:16 PM | Comments (2)

Reviving Tin Cannes, Virtually.

One of the few things I remember fondly about the Army was the various incantations of the Tin Cannes film festival. For those who weren't participants, the idea is a group of friends would gather, usually at Engberg's (so I'm told--I was in North Carolina), and rate movies based on a scale of various canned goods. Bad movies were "Spam," decent movies were "Dinty Moore"--you get the idea. I was never present for the real deal; Tin Cannes faded away before I returned from Fayetteville. Efforts were made to revive it, but it never worked out.

I'm thinking of making a virtual Tin Cannes for anyone interested. We can choose a movie once a week, probably a rentable movie so those of us who don't get out much can participate. We could also review restaurants, books, theatre and other stuff. It would be well suited to the since we're all so spread out these days. I think we'd need at least four or five "regulars" and a couple of "occasionials" (like you poor bastards in Med/Vet/Law school) to make it worthwhile.

If anyone's interested, post a comment with your thoughts.

Posted by james at 10:43 PM | Comments (2)