March 27, 2006

Who Says Dead Kittens aren't Very Fun?

My wife is taking an anatomy lab, part of which involves dissecting dead cats. She took pictures of these for your (or more specifically, her lab partners') viewing pleasure. You can find the matching spreadsheet here.

Posted by james at 07:47 PM | Comments (0)

January 08, 2006

Flash Fiction Revisited

I recently discovered that my old diaryland account was deactivated. It wasn't a total loss, but I don't want to loose stuff I posted there. I'll be slowly adding that content to falseauthority.com so I don't loose it. Here are my flash fiction stories that I posted. Feel free to re-comment, I still like critiques.

Waxed (50 Words)

Originally posted 2004-06-01, 11:30pm.

He breathed deeply, anticipating the ordeal, the pain, the blood. The imagined sound of the fibers ripping echoed through his head. He would meet his enemies in battle. Millions of them. Mindless drones that he would fight alone. His only weapon: fifty yards of waxed string. With discipline, he flossed.

The Alley (100 Words)

Originally posted 2003-09-24, 5:34pm.

I would‘ve expected something dramatic, maybe my life flashing before my eyes, but my heart didn’t so much as skip when I felt her track-marked arm press a cold steel tube behind my ear. She whispered, cold and rehearsed, “Don’t move, muthafucka!” A spotlight clicked on and immediately cast the shadow of a stocky cop and a pregnant woman on the graffitied wall. I cringed at the rapport of the bullet and heard the sound of her skull hitting the pavement. My partner told the paramedics to take their time and I wondered if we’d done the kid a favor.

Turdleduck (100 Words)

Originally posted 2002-11-12, 10:37pm from New Orleans.

I gawked in terror as the giant snapping turtle circled around for another pass. His mouth opened and inside was gleaming white with a red forked tongue. I blinked and tried to regain focus but his wings kept lifting dust into my eyes. I looked at the person next to me with tears streaming down my face. “He’s coming for you,” he said. I had to warn my comrades! Summoning all my strength I screamed, “Turtle! Duck!”

The man gently laid me back into my stretcher. “Don’t worry son,” he said, “you’re going to be just fine. Here’s some morphine…”

Posted by james at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2003

Autopsy

Another hundred words...

Her dyed red hair cast a colored glow on her white lab coat as she began the autopsy. She stepped on the pedal activating the tape recorder.

“October 29, 2003.

23 year old male. DOA—motorcycle crash—no helmet.

Severe facial lacerations.

Open fracture, left humerus.

Shattered left elbow.

4mm puncture through scrotum and into right inner thigh.

Left foot, tibia, fibula & femur crushed.

Opening abdominal cavity:

Holy shit! Cancerous tissue on both lungs, the liver, and the pancreas.

Hey John, check this out.”

Doctor Lewis stepped up to the table, “Wow. He’d have died anyway—three months, tops.”

Posted by james at 10:39 PM | Comments (1)